What do I live for?
To be honest, there isn’t much to live for.
If I were to die today, I cannot deny that there will be lingering trepidation in my heart, a ceaseless pounding in my chest for a long time, maybe there will also be a little clarity in my thoughts.
There isn’t anything to live for. What we make of life is what we deem valuable to live for in it. However, it never was our choice to choose. Surely there will be options, but we cannot choose for freedom is a disguised concept of the human mind.
If I were to die today, would I hope for an eternal omniscient being to cradle me in its arms and welcome my presence? Would I crave for the promised everlasting joy? Or would I dread and fear that I may be thrown into an abyss of fiery torment and unfathomable despair?
I would not hope for either. The concept and longing for a reward after life seems all too humanly and selfish. To want to be freed from the bodily agony on earth, to be rewarded for living a just life, to be punished for having failed to contribute to mankind. Why should we place ourselves under scrutiny by a non-intervening being? By a being who, if had created us, brought along the miseries and evils, yet claims to be good.
Maybe it does exist, far from our capabilities of understanding, just maybe. However, the ideas created of such a being existing is only selfish. It fails to see life for what it truly is. Life isn’t just about living up to expectations or to be confined to the “norms” and reject the abnormal. As humans, we are the most feeling and understanding animals on this planet, we have been seeking to know what we do not know, to find what we haven’t found. We seek to be understanding, and all encompassing, to be able to empathise and be empathised with. We seek to be god.
There is a duality to everything, a dichotomy is the basis for comparison. To define good, there must be evil. To define joy, there must be sorrow. We all seek to be at one end of the spectrums and reject the polar opposites. Yet, there are people who are in the unwanted poles, who lived lives and chose actions we cannot understand. We often fail to be mindful to empathise with these people, until we become one of them. Hence, we should try to always keep in mind that no one is born inherently to cause harm onto others. Rather, their actions are the products of their circumstances. For every action is born out of circumstance.
With all the digression from the initial thoughts of penning this down, to conclude all this,
A life has no inherent meaning or purpose except the ones we define for ourselves. A life worth living is an examined life. There is no such thing as free will as every action is born out of circumstance, hence we should always consider from another person’s perspective. All these ideas can be explored in the many realms of philosophy.
And should I fear death on the day it comes?
No, I should not. I should rejoice in receiving liberation from the shackles that bound me. I should not fear not existing, because I did not exist before.
We should not place huge importance on ourselves as we are all the same, the result of a cosmic ‘explosion’, the same energy debris from the same inception.